Columbus' rules to surviving the zombie apocalypse. The rules repeatedly appear throughout the first movie, often in comedic placements and interacting with the environment, such as when a zombie knocked off "o" in "cardio" in the gas station chase.
The rules[]
- #1: Cardio - When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.
- #2: Double Tap - In those moments when you're not sure the undead are really dead dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets.
- #3: Beware of Bathrooms - Don't let them catch you with your pants down.
- #4: Seatbelts - Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
- #5: No Attachments -
- #7: Travel Light - And I don't mean just luggage.
- #9: With Your Bare Hands -
- #10: Don't Swing Low -
- #11: Use Your Foot -
- #13: Shake It Off -
- #14: Always Carry a Change of Underwear -
- #16: Opportunity Knocks -
- #17: Don't be a Hero - Why don't you take this one?
- #17: Be a Hero - Some rules are made to be broken. (Rule updated)
- #18: Limber Up - Going down that hill, it is very important.
- #19: Break It Up -
- #20: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint, Unless It's a Sprint, then Sprint -
- #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out
- #23: Ziploc™ Bags - You got enough problems, moisture shouldn't be one of them.
- #24: Use Your Thumbs -
- #25: Shoot First -
- #26: A Little Sunscreen Never Hurt Anybody -
- #27: Incoming! -
- #28: Double-Knot Your Shoes -
- #30: Pack Your Stain Stick -
- #31: Check the Back Seat - No one back there but my duffel bag.
- #32: Enjoy the Little Things - I hate to give credit to anyone who looks like Yosemite Sam, but I'm writing it down.
- #42: Keep Your Hands to Yourself - It's just polite.
- #52: Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help - Yeah and they ignored rule 52: don't be afraid to ask for help.
- #53: Wet Naps -
Reasonings behind the rules[]
Columbus' rules were designed for survivability foremost, each rule an attempt mitigate the dangers of Zombieland or to make daily life in it more bearable.
- #1: Cardio - Zombies aren't fast. To escape, it's more important to be able to run longer than faster.
- #2: Double Tap - One clean shot to the head can protect against zombies playing possum.
- #3: Beware of Bathrooms - Zombies know to hang around them, caution can help avoid an ambush.
- #4: Seatbelts - Wear one, zombies rarely do. Braking can send them flying away.
- #7: Travel Light - Traveling light means traveling fast. Only pack essentials.
- #17: Don't be a Hero - Unnecessary risks are risks that shouldn't be taken.
- #17: Be a Hero - But for loved ones, some risks are worth taking.
- #18: Limber Up - A muscle cramp during a zombie chase is a death sentence.
- #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out - Knowing where to flee can aid an escape.
- #23: Ziploc™ Bags -
- #26: A Little Sunscreen Never Hurt Anybody -
- #31: Check the Back Seat - Zombies or little girls with guns may hide there, don't be caught off guard.
- #32: Enjoy the Little Things - Zombieland is harsh, enjoy happiness where it can be found to stay sane.
- #42: Keep Your Hands to Yourself - It ostensibly leads to better group cohesion and facilitation of rule #52.
- #52: Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help - Groups have a greater chance of survival.
- #53: Wet Naps -
Commandments[]
Flagstaff had a variant list of rules he referred to as Commandments. They include but are not limited to:
- Commandment #1: Teamwork.
- Commandment #5: Confirm Your Kills.
- Commandment #12: The World is Your Bathroom.
- Commandment #13: Avoid Perishables.
- Commandment #16: Expect the Unexpected.
- Commandment #20: Warm Up.
- Commandment #28: Shade.
- Commandment #29: Cardiovascular Fitness.
- Commandment #45: Mind Your Manners.
Deleted Rules[]
Promotional videos starring Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg expanded on the list presented in the film (with descriptions by a fan):
- #6: Cast Iron Skillet
- #8: Get a Kick-ass Partner
- #12: Bounty Paper Towels
- #15: Bowling Ball - It’s noisy
- #21: Avoid Strip Clubs
- #29: The Buddy System
- #33: Swiss Army Knife - It’s small, and it’s handy
- #34: Clean Socks
- #48: Hygiene
- #49: Always Have Backup - It’s very easy to get in danger. Don’t rely on a Berkeley. That guy is just running flesh.
Notes[]
In Zombieland: Double Tap, rule #26 "A little sunscreen never hurt anybody" was listed as rule #36.