Columbus' rules to surviving the zombie apocalypse. The rules repeatedly appear throughout the first movie, often in comedic placements and interacting with the environment, such as when a zombie knocked off "o" in "cardio" in the gas station chase.
- #1: Cardio - When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.
- #2: Double Tap - In those moments when you're not sure the undead are really dead dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets.
- #3: Beware of Bathrooms - Don't let them catch you with your pants down.
- #4: Seat belts - Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
- #7: Travel light - And I don't mean just luggage.
- Rule 8: Kill Efficiently
- Rule 9: A club does not have to be reloaded
- Rule 10: Don't make any noise
- Rule 15: Keep an exit free
- #17: Don't be a Hero - Why don't you take this one?
- #17: Be a Hero - Some rules are made to be broken. (Rule updated)
- #18: Limber up - Going down that hill, it is very important.
- #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out
- #23: Ziploc™ Bags - You got enough problems, moisture shouldn't be one of them.
- #31: Check the Back Seat - No one back there but my duffel bag.
- #32: Enjoy the little things - I hate to give credit to anyone who looks like Yosemite Sam, but I'm writing it down.
- #36: Sunscreen -
- #42: Keep your hands to yourself - It's just polite.
- #52: Don't be afraid to ask for help - Yeah and they ignored rule 52: don't be afraid to ask for help.
- #53: Wet naps -
Reasonings behind the rules
Columbus' rules were designed for survivability foremost, each rule an attempt mitigate the dangers of Zombieland or to make daily life in it more bearable.
- #1: Cardio - Zombies aren't fast. To escape, it's more important to be able to run longer than faster.
- #2: Double Tap - One clean shot to the head can protect against zombies playing possum.
- #3: Beware of Bathrooms - Zombies know to hang around them, caution can help avoid an ambush.
- #4: Seatbelts - Wear one, zombies rarely do. Braking can send them flying away.
- #7: Travel light - Traveling light means traveling fast. Only pack essentials.
- #17: Don't be a Hero - Unnecessary risks are risks that shouldn't be taken.
- #17: Be a Hero - But for loved ones, some risks are worth taking.
- #18: Limber up - A muscle cramp during a zombie chase is a death sentence.
- #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out - Knowing where to flee can aid an escape.
- #23: Ziploc™ Bags -
- #31: Check the Back Seat - Zombies or little girls with guns may hide there, don't be caught off guard.
- #32: Enjoy the little things - Zombieland is harsh, enjoy happiness where it can be found to stay sane.
- #36: Sunscreen -
- #42: Keep your hands to yourself - It ostensibly leads to better group cohesion and facilitation of rule #52.
- #52: Don't be afraid to ask for help - Groups have a greater chance of survival.
- #53: Wet naps -
Flagstaff had a variant list of rules he referred to as Commandments. They include but are not limited to:
- Commandment #1: Teamwork.
- Commandment #5: Confirm your kills.
- Commandment #12: The world is your bathroom.
- Commandment #13: Avoid perishables.
- Commandment #16: Expect the unexpected.
- Commandment #20: Warm up.
- Commandment #28: Shade.
- Commandment #29: Cardiovascular fitness.
- Commandment #45: Mind your manners.
Promotional videos starring Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg expanded on the list presented in the film:
- #6: Cast iron skillet
- #8: Get a kickass partner
- #12: Bounty paper towels
- #15: Bowling Ball
- #21: Avoid strip clubs
- #29: The buddy system
- #33: Swiss army knife
- #34: Clean socks
- #48: Hygiene
- #49: Always have backup